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Summer by ~ 2Raven on deviantARTWell, summer is officially here, and school is out. Doesn't mean I don't have a muffinload of summer reading work, but at least I'll have more freetime. But it'll be my senior year next year, and just the word itself, senior, makes me think of the last stretch, the last leg of the race. But I really don't want it to be over sometimes, and other times, I do. I was talking to Church last night, and he mentioned that high school and college usually are the best years of people's lives. I'd hate for that to be true, because that means that most of it goes by so fast and so unawares for most people. I don't want to be 22 and be "Well, it's done." I want to be a amazing, colorful person even when I am not daisy-fresh and young. Why does youth stop at 22 or 23? By the time we get it, it's over with. There's so much I can do now that in 10 years, it will not be possible. I feel like I've wasted my first three years in highschool, of my youth. But I'm going to live every moment stronger, if that makes sense. In fact, I'd better make my summer list right now... To do- * read more poetry * write more poetry * take a self-road trip to a nearby place * draw more * write in chalk in strange places * learn guitar? * get some penpals * go to places unknown * take more pictures * be more weird in public * spend more time with friends * try not to despair so often This summer is breaking open for me, and I can do so much. It'll just be me at the house this summer (and my parents of course) so I'd best fill it up with activities. Maybe I'll memorize a T.S Eliot poem or something. And since I will not have marching band, I will stop by often in the Willmobile and help out however I can. Last night, with Church at Melinda's graduation party, we went off to the side for a bit and just talked and hugged, and the air was so warm and soft, and the sky was so perfect. If that's how my summer goes, I can deal with that. Tags: plans, summer
Current Mood:  excited
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I would definitely have to say my boyfriend, because I think you can contact your family in some cases. But if I couldn't, then yes, my family. But if it were Church, I'd find a way to say good-bye, somehow. Probably drop a letter in the little window that leads to his basement, and color it bright pink and color it with glitter so it'd stick out amongst the Civil War and Halo decor. Yeah, that'll work. Tags: in plain sight, ips qotd, person I’d miss, writer's block
Current Mood: cheerful
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Cymbal by ~ stiffneck on deviantARTIt's over. That just keeps repeating in my head, along with the clang of cymbals and the rat-tat-tat of snare drums and steady beat of basses. Something completely new, scary, and tough. I had done the exact same thing over two years ago, walking into something that I was unsure whether or not I would do well in, or survive. But I was buoyed up and supported, and found closeness in people I didn't even know. After that had started to shred, after two years, I had become attracted to something wholly different, and I left my family of two years, over 700 days, the nights spent together, the shared looks during performances, the bruises compared after getting hit with your own rifle, and inside jokes and the understanding. I walked away, and while I don't regret leaving, it still hurts, like the missing of an ex-boyfriend. I was looking for more understand and closer family, less tension during the tough times. At the beginning, it seemed so, but then it changed. It took me a couple of months to realize- all groups of teenage girls are the same. It doesn't matter if they say they're different or "better"- in fact, some of them seemed cruel just to be that way. I came looking for family and a new sport to learn. I found one, and realized where my family was- somewhere else spinning flags and gathering bruises and scrapes, the kind I used to sport proudly with them. So I took a different route- separation. I carefully stayed a distance away, and was hurt less. When I came to the guard's competition, I was welcomed back with the same arms that supported me for two years. And I realized my mistake, but like I said, I wouldn't change my mind if I could go back. I'm glad I joined winter percussion, but if I could mix-and-match the season, I would be with the guard girls on the cymbal line and the drumline and front ensemble would be the same. And there would be flags, rifles, and sabres, but that's pushing it, I know. I wasn't understood by the line, and was greeted warmly each time by own one or two of them. The rest were so close that they closed others out, and even to the point of cutting others down that weren't a part of that. I never had to deal with people talking behind my back in guard because they would have the guts to say it to my face. This didn't happen in the cymbal line, and instead, I overheard catty conversations and biting words that, upon the arrival of the subject, would change to a different person not in the room. I knew I didn't want to be a part of that, and instead, became friends with the front ensemble girls. They made the experience enjoyable, if only during breaks and at competitions, due to the nature of the show, because I was never near enough to them to make a strong bond. So how ought I rate this on a 1-10 scale... 8. The thrill of being in a World group, performing at a WGI Regional and coming out in a good standing, the other people, amazing. The two points is for the nights I spent crying in frustration over how I couldn't understand the music or the cutting words of the girls. The nit-pick nature of the girls hurt, and while I know they were just trying to be the best, I often wondered if they just enjoyed the feeling of being 'better' than someone. I hope I never become like that. It was the girls that were kind that helped me through the season. I hope karma is nice to them, and maybe gives them a winning lottery ticket or something. Those girls deserve it. It's over. Enter more studying, retaking the SATs, AP exams, and what I know I can do, with only myself. I understand her, and she never cuts me down when I'm not around. Tags: girls, guard, winter percussion
Current Location: couch
Current Mood:  pensive
Current Music: Rain- Breaking Benjamin
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Water, Land and Sky by ~ AntiSpy on deviantARTGorgeous picture, eh? So at the beginning of the summer I made a list of things I wanted to do, and underlined the things I did... so here is what I did (and didn't) do.
-gain a few new artists music-wise that I like -get a job -write a few short stories-fix my self a better wardrobe out of thrift shop stuff
-work on my makeup skills-scare some people by just being myself- volunteer somewhat-make friends with a complete stranger-dress like every different stereotype, and go out in public and see the reactions -spend at least an hour just pampering my cats -write music to at least 2 of my songs -find a new TV/webseries to get hooked on-learn about a new subject -throw a five on rifle/four on sabre-take more pictures of my life and those I love.-Hang out in a cafe and draw stuff. I only didn't do 5 things! ^^ That's not bad! Out of 16, anywayz. Blaghghghgh, summer reading Huckleberry Finn, I need to write 6 more pages of analysis... blaghgh. It can't be over! Noooo... oh well... Tags: list, summer, things
Current Mood: cheerful
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peacock tail by ~ tofusers on deviantARTI saw a peacock at the zoo awhile back, I made purring noises, it actually kind of came to me and tried to get through the bars... I know I'm hot but still, dang, standards, guys. So, my list of things to do for the summer. I'll underline the ones done by the end of the summer and repost it.
-gain a few new artists music-wise that I like -get a job -write a few short stories-fix my self a better wardrobe out of thrift shop stuff
-work on my makeup skills-scare some people by just being myself-volunteer somewhat -make friends with a complete stranger-dress like every different stereotype, and go out in public and see the reactions -spend at least an hour just pampering my cats -write music to at least 2 of my songs -find a new TV/webseries to get hooked on-learn about a new subject -throw a five on rifle/four on sabre -take more pictures of my life and those I love. -Hang out in a cafe and draw stuff. Any to add? Tags: list, peacock, summer
Current Mood:  lethargic
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Sitting.. by ~ Kawaii-Chouji on deviantARTCute picture, right? :) What you find on deviantart is always surprising! It's summer, and I'm in a really good mood for some reason. Lately, I've been into looking cute and dressing up and being happy, I feel like things are great... I think I know the reason though. *happy smile* Random fact, I've been thinking about making Jacob (my boyfriend) lunch or something, a BLT and lemonade just because one day at lunch he gave me his because I hadn't packed enough. But tomatoes are recalled! What's up with that? I'm fully buying some when I go out later if I see some at Target. But I was thinking! I want to do some creative things on the sidewalk, but I only have a few colors of chalk. Could I mix the chalk colors to make new colors like paint, red + yellow=orange, blue+yellow = green, etc? Just smushing the dust together... hmm... Tags: happy, recreation things, summer
Current Location: couch
Current Mood:  giddy
Current Music: 'Friends' theme song
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